from under the rock i call student!

Wow, its been quite some time since ive gotten on this thing. Today im feeling optimisitc.
I just got an email about a certain leadership position which im completly going to go for!
I am trying to build myself into a great person which includes bringing out the outgoing and leader in me that has been always slowly peeking through but now i want everyone around campus to know who i am!

There are a few people around campus that i know of that EVERYONE knows for very good reasons....i want to be that person!
I want to graduate from this place having my head held high and everyone knowing who i am (in case i may need them down the road)

yayaya i started off extremly rocky.... but the new jobs i have one working right in my college office for the DEAN and the other answering the main phone line for ferris answering questions on anything that a student could possibly have.

The only thing i am worried about is putting too much on my plate...i did that freshmen year and it bit me in the butt!!!!

I want to impress everyone and make everyone happy! Yet fufill my own wants and needs. For one money is no longer one of my bigger stresses or a car because i have both due to a large loan i received (which im sure will bit me in the butt later when i have to pay it back) however i can now focus on whats important. my family, my boyfriend and being a student.


FLORDIA!
What to say. Holy crap do i miss the luxuary of not being in the real world because technically you wernt. I miss the people i was surrounded with and the friendships i built. Im not the best at staying  in contact but wish i was. I miss so many of my best friends i cant explain...the people i spent every day with and got to know and inside jokes (angelica prekopa, daniel muller and craig williams!)

I am currently watching the real houswives and every time i do it makes me think what kind of wife or mom am i going to be..... i want to cater to my kids and husband and be there for them if and when they need me. I guess im old fashioned....  wife and mom in the kitchen and husband out working.  I have to get back to my homework now but i will possibly be back soon. maybe maybe not.
good night=]

excited!!!

boy couldnt of asked for a better weekend! my sister came to visit this weekend and i am blessed that she is ever so amazing to help me out with groceries and other necessities! We got into a bar that maybe i shouldnt of gotten into.

I now have jons family visiting later this week and i couldnt be happier! Plan and simple =]

::forever young::

well family is talking about coming to visit which is such a relief. I was nervous that i have all these discounts and no one wants to come use and abuse them. But i was wrong. I have jon and his family hoping to come visit=] and then his cousin and young matthew which i am excited to see the little nugget.  I am still however stressing over the car situation but like jon ALWAYS tells me , things will work out like always. However, i do wish that they would work out right now!  Im not sure what i want for my birthday, well actually there are a lot of things i want for my birthday but mainly money or a car=]

Yesterday was a good day. My mood was increasingly better which is a sign of hope. I am questioning as to why every single day i am so irritable and crabby towards certain things. I know i have no patience however this is getting a little old and i feel bad for whom ever is in my wrath. I dotn want my experiance to be hashed by my moodiness. So, with that said i am looking into taking a vitamin supplement that is a mood enhancer but im not sure how people/jon will think about it. 


Well its extremly hard to save money down here due to the fact since im only here for 6 monthes, i wanna do everything i can while i get these types of discounts! We will see=]

thats whats on my mind. Next post will probably be a list of items i want to accomplish the last two monthes i am here.

ahhh now i see=]

Well the past 3-4 days have been interesting. Ive maybe had a full meal twice due to the fact of my stupidity. I got a new account with 5th 3rd and changed my direct deposit to that account....but i dont even have a debit card from them yet... so i have had no money nor food for the past 3 days and am feeling the effects!

I thought i would write in here cuz now i feel like its an obligation, i havent been up to date with it.

So at work i now realize why people think im the bitch at work....because i am!
I want to get things done and not sit there and talk about dumb shit all day so i somewhat yell at people. Its not like i want to its just the product of little to no patience.

Its alreayd november tomorow and i havent even done half of what i wanted to do. i feel that this is due to lack of money and a vehicle.
If only i had the balls to ask my cousin to co sign on the car loan for me=[

well i am also breaking out like a mad women which is extremly rare for me. I maybe get one pimple a month but right now i have about a years worth on my face!

My birthday is sort of coming up and im excited because that means i will no longer be a teenager and money!

Anyways i hate being under stress of no money and no food. One thing happens right after another. ferris said i can come back without paying my bills which is extremly good, but now i have bills to pay for an apartment. and no car=/

off to the next one

Timing

Well things are slowly starting to work out (like jon said) he always seems to be right....95% of the time.

Ferris is finally understanding the concept that i will be paying them more if they let me come in the spring then holding off a semester.... about time
I also signed my housing agreement as well. now the only problem is a car and money!

Its hard trying to save money down here given the fact i look at it this way, im only down here for two more monthes why not go out and do things i may never get to do again!
Sad note- my best friend craig got termed and i feel awful! He was one of the few people down here that i could always count on and trust even though he was a piece of shit. haha=] i plan on visiting him on my way home because he lives in ohio which i am alreayd excited for.

I hope that Jon scott and katie  come to visit but at the same time i dont want them to come and be disappointed because they have alreayd been to the parks before. I am really nervous about getting the time off as well. I would hate for them to come down and ill be working! I am also nervous like i said about disappointing them. I hate to disappoint.

I am also hoping that my sister has good credit so she can co-sign for my car=] if nto im screwed unless i get the balls to ask my cousin haha. yeah right=/

anyways i love jon and am so greatful he is in my life. i quoted on facebook the other day "im nto sure what he sees in me but i am thankful he does" and it couldnt be said any better! I have treated him bad and lied to him in the past. i am now trying to change that make things right. I want to marry the kid and have his babies! baha. He literally keeps me going and i feel if i wernt with him. id be on the streets sellin coke. not really but i wouldnt be the same person what so ever! I hope i can be everything he wants me to be=]

that is all

one word....stress

I feel as if i continue in this cycle of stress...not having my period since ive been here is a little annoying and i know its directly related to stress. I am constantly looking for ways to build credit and pull out a loan yet no matter what i do or have isnt good enough.

The work situation....adding onto my stress...
If this guy doesnt get transfered or fired, im quitting. no questions asked!
I refuse to go to work everyday worrying if i have too much makeup on or if he will say something, or i cant eat in the break room while he is in there. absolutly no reason for it!

I am sticking with the ford taurus because its what i grew up with and loved.
I am getting a new phone tomorow so i can sell my old one and possibly make a few hundred bucks off it=]

i feel like i should talk to someone about my stress. like a medical doctor.
the reason i say this is that since ive been here ive noticed i have dizzy spells i never used to have before, im not eating nearly as much, and im constantly irritable and constantly crying.

Im waiting for the day where i just pass out of stree overdose!

i am considering asking family members to cosign loans for me so i can get that car i need. however i feel as if it is impossible =[

Manatees however was amazing! i couldnt of asked for better people to go with and a better manatee sighting! They are the gentlest giants! hence-sea cows.

my roomate pissed me off by using the last of my god damn tin foil and oh- didnt ask!
How would she like it......
i also hate how she leaves her shit in the sink for days! and it stinks!!!

I feel like no one understands the stress i go through especailly jon. I say this because he has always been smart in what ever he does. for example- he saves his money...i dont.
I dont know what to do anymore at this point=/

help

num num num num num=]

Well i just woke up....yah its 2:11pm thats the perks or working nights. Last nights pac attack was good at steak and shake. i feel from my last posts about being extremly stressed have made me overwhelmed the past few days. however as the days pass, it continues to look better and better with the help of my family and friends. i have learned talking is your best friend. and sometimes crying=]

but i feel like things will hopfully work out for the better and if not i know ive got the best family to see me through it=]

I am working as much as i can and as hard as i can to continue my relationship with disney=]

that is all for now. law and order is on=]